Blue

I have wrestled with what to say about this song because I want to get it right. I love these people and their families so much. The chorus of Blue contains one of the first melodies I wrote in this process. It has grown over time and has become this song that I love so much but is so hard to face. I don’t know what it is like to lose a husband, a wife, a mother, a father, a son, a daughter, a brother, or a sister. The people in the heart of this song were all of these things to people they loved. This song is inspired by one of the greatest friends, an amazing sister-in-law, and a cousin who I was very close to growing up. I am only one person and such a small part of all the many people whose lives they all touched. I think about them every day. This song is for McKenzie and her infectious laugh, Laura and the acceptance she showed me, and Dave and his rebellious spirit. I hold on to everything I can about them. There are elements of each of them spread throughout the song. As I was writing I also realized I was thinking about my father’s father, Larry, and how his sense of humor comes out of my mouth daily. And it still surprises me. The sole purpose of this song is to honor those we have lost and address that grief doesn’t end, but also, neither does love.

Your life was important right from the start
You made me not afraid
It still isn’t easy remembering you’re gone
But your laugh still makes me brave

Why’d you have to go away
I just feel lost without you
My heart breaks knowing you’re not here
I just wanted you to stay
You’re still gone, but I’m holding on
To everything that’s you, but I’m still here and blue

We watched the waves roll in, stars in the sky
We were young again
The tide went back out when you went into the night
But I feel you in the wind

Why’d you have to go away
I just feel lost without you
My heart breaks knowing you’re not here
I just wanted you to stay
You’re still gone, but I’m holding on
To everything that’s you, but I’m still here and blue

The day you were taken, I didn’t know
I’d have to say goodbye
But I know you still watch and guide me as I go
I can hear your voice in mine

Why’d you have to go away
I just feel lost without you
My heart breaks knowing you’re not here
I just wanted you to stay
You’re still gone, but I’m holding on
To everything that’s you, but I’m still here and blue

You’re still gone, but I’m holding on
To everything that’s you, but I’m still here and blue